The Wrath of 2012 - An Introduction by a Believer

If you are reading this, then you are probably interested in surviving the inevitable demise that is upon us, which I commonly refer to as 2012. If you have never heard of this date, let me begin by giving a thorough, but laconic summary of 2012.

December 21, 2012 is the final day on the Mayan calendar. Now, this would be no reason for concern, were they some primitive culture like Medieval Europe. Unfortunately for us, the commonly-accepted idea is that the Mayans were the greatest civilization ever to populate this rock we call Earth. They had greater technology than anyone of us could even fathom in today's age. The majority of the Mayans were destroyed in the last apocalypse that occurred ages ago. (There were survivors, those who made contact with an alien race known as the Kalbrueam's, but that is another story for another day.) The Mayans with their advanced astronomy and energy analysis methods, were able to predict not only their own, but 5 apocalypses.

So, by now I would imagine that you are wondering, "Apocalypse? What sort of events could lead to an apocalypse?" Well, being only a primitive civilization in comparison to the Mayans, we can only speculate. There are many theories, but here are the ones that are most probable:

(1) In 2012 the planets throughout the galaxy will align in such a way that an enormous amount of energy will "come into focus". This energy is unrelated to magnetism, light, or nuclear energy. The planets align in such a way that this otherworldly energy will be focused onto the Earth. This will draw the attention of sentinent creatures called Swanhedlieon. In attempt to harness this energy for themselves, Swanhedlieon will swarm our planet, consuming every man, woman and child in attempt to consume the immense energy fields. The rapid loss of this "cosmic energy" will result in what is known to scientists as "core wobbling" in which the core of the Earth wobbles similar to the way a spinning egg wobbles. This will result in massive earthquakes, volcanic explosion, unpredictable tectonic activity. While this will eliminate some of the Swanhedlieon, it will also kill many humans. Over the course of several months, mountain ranges will become oceans, rain forests will become deserts, and 45% of the surface of the Earth will be covered in white hot magma. Survivors of the initial destruction will then have to deal with the powerful Swanhedlieon, who by this time will have begun to inhabit our seemingly uninhabitable planet.

(2) Planet Y. While there has been some commotion over the possibility of a collision with a celestial body known as Planet X, the real hazard come from a celestial body I will refer to as Planet Y. The Planet X theory states that in 2012, the orbit of some large celestial body and Earth will align in a way that a collision will result, causing massive amounts of destruction. However, after extensive personal research, I have not only disproved this theory, but discovered an entirely new mass, Planet Y that poses a much realer threat. While scouring the cosmos with my array of radio telescopes, I ran across a "blip" on the radar. This intrigued me, and further analysis revealed that this "blip" was an enormous ball of solid mercury, approximately 4x the diameter of the Earth in size. While a direct collision is unlikely, the orbit of Planet Y is in such a way that its trajectory will pass within 1.5 Astronomical Units of the Earth. This is close enough that the heat and radiation of the sun will melt the unprotected mercury, and sling portions of it into our planets atmosphere. My best preliminary calculations show that between 1.233x10^5 to 4.091x10^7 cubic miles of hot mercury could come raining down on our planet in 2012.

(3) The final possibility I have postulated deals with a group of tribal people we know as Kogis. The Kogi are the oldest "primitive" group of people who inhabit this planet, who I have reason to believe are the decedents of the Atlanteans (not to be confused with people from Atlanta). Today, they are a very exclusive society, only allowing a small number of researchers into their lands to learn about them, which likely means they are planning something large-scale that they do not want discovered by the outside world. Those who have had the privilege, discovered some amazing things about the Kogi people. In fact, these "primitives" posses technology that is not only on par with current "main stream" technology, but far surpasses it. Reports trickle in of people who have seen massive cities, full of gigantic buildings, flying vehicles, and "mystical" machines, floating in the air. Most likely, they are using the cloaking technology that was developed by the Atlantean inventor/engineer Tobi Kishibi, to hide their cities from the outside world. I believe that the only reason a group of people would seclude themselves like this is if they are biding their time, waiting to re-conquer the planet. Kogi people have been seen worshiping some sort of crystalline entity, which they likely draw their power from. On 2012, it is possible that the imbalance of galactic energy (which is due to many variables) will somehow be harnessed by these crystal entities, and will give power to the Kogi people. In a rage of unmerciful animosity, these Kogi people will most likely invade our cities, pillaging and destroying to their desire.

Once again, there are many possibilities, but these three I feel are the most imminent threats to the continuity of the human race. It is of vital importance that we ban together in this time of peril and press onwards into the future. Fortunately, I am considered by many to be among the greatest experts on continuity that this planet has to offer. With my resourcefulness and leadership ability, I am confident that we can manage through these apocalyptic events.

Truly Yours,

Survivor_Man_o'_Fury